sippy cups

I was talking to a dear friend who has known me as an astrophysicist and baseball fan amoung other things and I heard the words come out of my mouth "There are two types of sippy cups..."

Is this what my conversational subjects have been reduced to?  Or is it something I should celebrate - that I am so immersed in the mom culture that I think even non-childbearing friends want to hear about sippy cups? I guess it's a mix of the two, especially if you consider the sleep deprivation.  I'm trying not to give myself too much of a hard time and just enjoy where I am.  I wish you the same sense of joy and self acceptance that visits me from time to time.

Happy Various Winter Holidays!

the road to hell is paved with good intentions....

so they say.  November has had more than its share of ups and downs.  My brother in law visits, we are broke.  The Giants win the world series, We are broke again.  My birthday, broke again.  I guess i should say broke still.  Emergency root canal, sharing sickness for a week.  It's been a tough month.  that's why I haven't posted you could say.  I had good intentions...

But I've been thinking about good intentions lately.  I wanted to write this blog as an outlet for the thinking side of being a mom, seeing as my darling D can't tell me what a great job I'm doing.  It was also supposed to be a way to actively share other sides of my person-hood then the one who changes diapers and makes baby cereal.  But my not posting means letting go of that.   In some ways it's good to let go - of the guilty side.  But in other ways it means putting my goals last again - the thing I wasn't going to do as a mom.  I have intentions to finish folding that laundry.  To go to that yoga class.  To meet with friends more.  To be with my husband more in meaningful ways.  To find a good way to transfer Darwin to his crib.  To have a few moments by myself!

Good intentions aren't enough.  Plans are a stronger step, but they still aren't doing.  How do I get from wanting my life to be different to making it be different?  It's been such a whirlwind since the baby was born, more than I could have ever known, but how do I land this house and get my feet under me?  The questions are a start, I guess...

Eggettes...

is a horrible name for a yogurt spot, or just about anything.  But the place itself is pretty awesome.  Great non-fat yogurt with an awesome array of toppings from strawberries to cocoa puffs.  Tables and couches to sit on.  Alas, no changing tables.  But I've never had any attitude from anyone there, about strollers, crying babies, nursing or anything else.  I'll write more later - lunch is ready.

Time for a quickie, perhaps?

The thing about children's naps is you never know if they will be ten minutes or two hours.  Hoping for the latter, I have started the post of all the reviews I keep meaning to do.  Here goes:

• Glen Park Library - 2825 Diamond Street, (415) 355-2858 -  High marks go to this Library for being close to my house and having a changing table, as you know, items close to my heart that making getting out of the house so much easier.  But also, they have a large children's book section, with board books and picture books separate from each other and grade schoolers' books. Like many of the newer sfpl branches, they have seats that are actually activity centers for the little ones. They also have baby rhyme and playtime for kids from birth to three every Tuesday at 10:30.  Having a regularly scheduled outing has made D (and me!) very happy.

• Barney's Burgers in Noe Valley - 4138 24th St. (415) 282-7770 - Barneys has always seemed like a family place.   With great milkshakes, kid menu items and crayons brought to the table, it is pretty awesome.  But no changing tables?!?  having just done a multi-thousand dollar renovation and not included them seems at best forgetful and at worst mean! D did have his first solid food here though - a spicy curly fry from his gram-bam.  So we'll probably keep going and hope they get it together.

• Noe Children's Playground - 798 Douglass St - Or as we call it "Tater Tot's Park".  And boy, are those tots cute!  This playground is almost exclusively for the 3 and under crowd, with baby swings, a sand area, and the littlest climbing structure you've ever seen.  D is in the cruising stage right now and while he can't go up steps, he can walk up to all the shelves on the outside of the structure and he is so happy when he can turn the steering wheel or run the windmill.  Located on Douglas between 24th and 25th.  Sadly no changing tables, but there are nearby restrooms by the mini-dogpark  attached to the playground.

• Tygers - 2798 Diamond St (at Chenery St) - There's always a line outside of Tyger's.  And if you like good food at reasonable prices it is the place.  There's no changing tables - in fact the restroom is pretty dismal on the whole, but the Jumbo Raisin Walnut French Toast never disappoints.  This is one of those places that doesn't cater to families, but makes everyone feel welcome.  The wait staff are super friendly and will get you a high chair, or water to make a bottle, or just make funny faces until your baby laughs.  I have never gotten attitude from anyone there, and that's very important for those mornings when you just want breakfast or brunch and not to be judged.  N.B. - They are cash only.

 Well, that made a little dent.  whew!  Until next time, keep getting out of the house.  And if you have any suggestions, please comment below, dear reader. 

so many posts... (Sunnyside Playground)

are in my head, but finding time to type them out is the issue.  I've wanted to write about the Hardly Strictly Bluegrass Festival, Barney's Burgers, the Giants game, Glen Park Library, Tyger's, El Toredor, and then yesterday we went to a new Indian place in the mission and took the baby to the pumpkin patch.  So I'm going to try to write everyday this week - we'll see how far good intentions go...
I want to also write a cute thing about the baby - he does so many!  you know how sometimes your leg twitches just as you are falling to sleep?  Well, sometimes D does that, too, but he's so little his whole body shakes!  It almost makes me laugh, but I don't want him to wake up.
So today I'll tell you about a place we wind up at most days - Sunnyside Playground.
On Forester and Melrose, a few blocks from Monterey, this playground was newly remodeled about a year or two ago.  They have baby swings, of course, but they also have these big red circles - about three feet in diameter that you can put your baby in with or without you. We like to lay in it together, or D will sit up on my tummy - he laughs so hard when he sees my feet pushing us because it looks like I'm just wiggling them in the air. There's a slide complex and climbing stuff, and a great big sand area that has a water spout for building castles.  (There's also plenty of things for bigger kids, too.)The bathrooms are generally clean and they have changing tables in the men's and the women's rooms.  They also have water fountains - this is where D first took a drink from one and he was so proud of himself! There's grassy areas where once D can run I imagine we will spend a lot of time.  The  only problem with the park is that there isn't a lot of shade - hardly any.  Not a problem most foggy days, but on the few sunny ones we get, watch out.  It's a great playground to check out - meet you by the slide!

stuck inside...

There will be days, of course, when you are stuck inside.  When your child is sick, when you are sick, when the weather is miserable.  This blog is supposed to be about having adventures, and that generally means getting out and about.  I firmly believe that is crucial to your sanity.  But what if your spirit is already crushed  and you can barely lift your head, never mind pack the diaper bag?  We all have those days, or at least I do and keep telling myself everyone else does.  So I joined a mom's group.  When others post on the board that they are going for a walk, it makes me want to go, too.  Having partners in crime makes everything easier, right? (Or at least it must make crime easier.  Otherwise why not keep all the loot for your self?)  Sometimes, to pull of the heist, you need someone with a different skill set.  Let's try an exercise.  Think of your most fun, wildest friend.  What would they do right now?  Call them.  right now.  I'll wait.  If you can't think of one, it may be because you are the wild one of your group.  find your connection to your pre-mom self - she's in there!

You know that saying all the advice you give others is really to yourself?  I might have just made that up, but it's true.  I need to take that advice, also.  So be gentle with yourself, and if you really are stuck inside for whatever reason, put on your wildest piece of clothing.  And dance to your favorite song from eighth grade.  If you can't remember, you can sing to your munchkin what I do to mine  - "I'm the One" by the Descendents.  (I change the lyrics a bit to "After all is said and all is done, I'm your mom!")  Then go take a nap the next time they do.  ummm... nap.  or put them in the crib and make yourself a cup of tea.  Good luck.

hit and run...

Firstly, sorry I haven't posted for a few days - I try to do it at least every other day, but sometimes things get busy. Not like anyone is reading this yet!  But I will try to be more consistent.

Today I was at the playground and I encountered what I call a "hit and run" mom.  I was sitting on a bench, nursing my son and there was another mom pushing her twins on a nearby swing.  Hit and run mom came over to the swing and pushed her child for about five minutes, during which the following remarks came out of her mouth:
"daycare?  I would never put my child in daycare.  I've been doing daycare my whole life."  (This said in response to nothing.)
To the mom of the twins "How old are they?  5 months?"  Reply - "They are 7 and a half." "wow - they sure are small"
To me "Is that a boy or a girl?"  "A boy." "You would never know in those pants and that shirt.  You dress him like a girl." (I was to surprised to answer, but in retrospect I wish I had said, yes, we are hoping he turns out to be a cross dresser.)
Her next remark "how old is he?"  By this point he had finished nursing and was scooting around the floor.
"9 months?  I guess he is just slow with his physical development."

By now I was almost laughing at her.  When this type of judgmental bullshit comes up, usually people are much more subtle.  After her barrage of insults ended, she immediately took her child and left the playground.  Who comes to the playground for five minutes, does this type of crap and leaves?  A hit and run mom.

It is natural to compare your child to other children.  It even is usual to say, "gee, their child is further along in _________", or to say "my child is so far ahead of them with ______." TO YOURSELF!  But out loud, this is some mean-spirited, crazy, rude shit.  Besides that, parenting is a tough job.  You have to respect your own decisions and your child's own pace of development.  Which means not judging other people's children and decisions.  Try supporting the other moms around you instead of trying to knock them down.  Come on.  How old are we?

Hopefully you will not encounter this type of crazy mom, but I think laughter is the best weapon against them.  If you have, post a comment about your experience.  

All the best 'til next time!

some thoughts about changing tables...

Having a baby is a life changing experience, for sure.  But only for you - not the rest of the world.  So I certainly don't think everyplace should suddenly have a changing table now that I have a baby.  That said, I do think places that have families as their key demographic or their target audience should have a changing table.

Speaking to the owners of these places:

Doing a quick google image search, I was able to find lots of different pictures of changing tables that can match various decor. They don't have to be big bulky white plastic things. (see picture on the left.) These are by far the most common, but there are also sleek metal ones, like the ones below.  If you think there isn't room, you can use one that drops down over the toilet - if they can have them in airplane bathrooms, chances are it will fit in your place.*

Do the right thing.  Help a momma out.

Sleek and shiny - ooooh!

folding ones fit most anywhere...

* Virgin America has changing tables on every flight - United only on international flights.

Puerto Alegra

We went there last night with two dear friends of ours who are expecting, so I thought it would be a good first review, fitting with the theme and all.  it was also nice because there was a group watching the giants game and every time they scored they cheered, so we could enjoy our dinner and still know the score as the Giants took 1st place in our division.

Yelp! said the place was child-friendly, but that's just a box you check on their site.  I could and maybe will put these reviews on Yelp!, but here they will all be in the same place, eventually.  Anyway, here I can talk about other stuff besides the restaurant, like how weird it is to be dining with a mix of hipsters, homeless folk and roving mariachi players looking at your child.  And other cool interesting stuff I will think of the next time, when I am less tired and more familiar with how English works.

The hostess was really warm to us as was all the staff and they sat us in the window - a place where we could put the stroller and not block anyone else.  It was supper loud there so you could say a crying baby would bother anyone.  The only real down side is that they have no changing tables, so you have to change the baby on your lap - thankfully it was just a wet diaper - and people were knocking to come in, as it takes a while to change a diaper anyway, even when you have the right equipment.  My husband can change a diaper in two minutes in a bucket seat of a car, but he has mad skills.  It takes me a while.

Summation:
Pros: Nice staff, enough ambient noise, no attitude
Cons: needs a changing table

hello...

This is your San Francisco momma here... I've been awake too many times in the middle of the night not to start a blog.  But why should you read it?  Not only for the fascinating things that I think about and happen to me, but also because I will tell you about "child friendly" San Francisco.  Not only the places that say they are child friendly but the real deal - do they have changing tables?  will the wait staff growl at you?       are they surprisingly accommodating even though families are not their main focus?

As an accidental stay at home mom, (more on that story later) I am learning the ropes and will share what I've learned with you.  One of those things is that you must get out of the house!!!  So pack your diaper bag   - we are heading for adventure!